As South Carolina’s summer heat ran ablaze I sat comfortably on my counselors hot leather seat.
As we conversed about my shady future the glare from the sun’s rays bounced off of the slightly opened window which quickly grabbed my attention losing my thoughts and eventually my focus.
I moved my attention towards my counselor’s cool guy persona. His silent attentiveness framed my thoughts which are probably why my mind barely caught up to the words flowing out of my mouth.
I then realized his silence suddenly shattered the still quietness made apparent by the lack of music during our audio less car ride.
“What are you planning to do after you graduate?”
His voice spoke with such calm intensity.
Yet, love and concern etched his voices inflection.
A father’s love is one of great valor and transparency. The importance of such truth is what his question entailed.
My voice remained mute while my thoughts ran hastily across my mind.
With such intensity, I quickly felt panic brewing.
I was quite assured that during his silence my uncertain rant about life was audible and clear.
- My degree completion plan is only at 78%
- I have 2 semesters plus summer school, it says I am graduating in 2018 but I am 22 years old and that seems too long!
- I have to complete an internship to graduate. Maybe in December of 2017 dad, maybe this year!
- Oh what about that Math course I still haven’t taken??
While I sat in the same seat that felt way too safe before our conversation, now felt uncomfortable.
I quietly sat mirroring his silence as aforementioned and thought to myself…
“Didn’t he hear my cries of uncertainty surely masked behind quiet ambition and confidence”?
Sure he did.
His question “What are you planning to do after you graduate?”
evoked fear and stirred sudden responses that were filled with self-validation, preservation, and responsibility. I desperately needed him to know that I had plans, goals, and aspirations so I pooled his mind with all of my current possibilities and plans.
However, after guarding my ego assuming passive judgments from “Superman” I confessed with a vulnerability that…
I didn’t know.
He gasped with surprise while I sunk in embarrassment because of pride.
“I don’t know what I want to do dad,” I spoke with certainty.
As he stared out onto the winding road ahead he said,
“Ask the Lord what it is that He wants you to do Janae .”
While I chewed on food for thought I assumed the enemy wanted me to quickly regurgitate my nuggets of wisdom because quickly I pessimistically thought to myself:
Easy peasy for someone that has VIP access to God’s throne room! I thought.
Nonetheless, I meditated on what seeking God would entail for the 22-year-old college kid carrying a vague future in tote.
What could my future possibly look like from the perspective of the creator? After reading over Jeremiah 29:11 quickly in my mind
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
The Lord then took me to Luke 16:1-13 the parable of the shrewd manager. The eighth and ninth verses stood out to me.
- The master praised his dishonest manager for looking out for himself so well. That’s how it is! The people of this world look out for themselves better than the people who belong to the light.
- My disciples, I tell you to use wicked wealth to make friends for yourselves. Then when it is gone, you will be welcomed into an eternal home.
Luke 16:8–9 CEVDCUS06
After meditating on both verses The Holy Spirit assured me that praying to the Lord and seeking His will for my life is the way to go (In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:6 ) He also let me know to utilize my resource Luke 16:8. The Holy Spirit also explained to me through the word of God to avoid allowing my resources to go to waste! Be useful with my available time and opportunities.
James 2:26 says:
“ For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”
Realizing that simply trusting in Gods intermission is not going to cut it.
However, utilizing my resources, trusting
and depending on Him by faith will ultimately allow the Lord to turn things around for my good, establishing His perfect purpose in my life.
God blesses those people who depend only on him. They belong to the kingdom of heaven!
Matthew 5:3 CEVDCUS06